Sorry

I must apologize for my recent lack of "bloggin'" recently. Not that any of you really care and I'm sure only one person will actually read this. What makes this even worse is that there has been a whole load of car action in my life recently. Last month the Audi went (the reason why I cannot divulge on the internet, again I'm sorry) and so mum and I had to share the Land Rover for a bit until the nice people at the insurance company spoke to Enterprise car rental and they lent us a vehicle. They told us that we would be getting a Corsa, I can't say that I was excited about this but it definitely wasn't a problem. When we arrived there wasn't a Corsa to be seen and we later found out we were getting a Micra! Yes a Micra, not a cool Mk1 no they gave us one of those new ones. It was repulsive and most definitely the worse car I had ever driven even though it was described as "a lovely drive" by the enterprise man. And to make matters worse the little raised lights (which are cringe worthy) are visible form the inside so you cant ignore the fact you are in a Micra.



About a week after we picked the Micra up we got a call form Enterprise. They told us that we they were going to replace the Micra for us. Apparently the Micra, being a 1.4, was far too sporty (what!) for an 18 year old to drive and there insurance didn't cover me properly. So they found us a nice Kia Picanto, a 998cc Kia Picanto! They're right about the Micra being sporty, when it's compared to a 998cc Picanto! It was so.... Korean! I have never sat in place and been surrounded by so much grey, cheap plastic. To get the car to move from a slight incline you needed about 4000 revs. Then to keep it moving your foot had to be permanently welded to the floor. When moving if you reached a corner you had to brake (ruining the week of hard work you just did to get it to 45mph) because the wheels were so thin that there was little if no grip. The amount of tyre touching the road from all four wheels is about the size of a postage stamp. This now has to be the worst car a have driven and I don't imagine that it will fall from that position soon, well I at least hope not.



If in the future you want hire car I wouldn't recommend Enterprise. Not only did they let me drive around for a week when I wasn't insured properly and changed a bad car for the worse car, the rear tyres were under inflated on the Micra when we picked it up and they wouldn't/couldn't do anything about it. So they let me drive away (only to Graham Goode's where I had to get some fuel) on the road, risking some points on my license, to go and get some air for the tyres.

I must apologize again, for the lack on 1st hand pictures but I just didn't want to risk my camera breaking with the sight of two of the most repulsive looking vehicles ever conceived by man.

I should hopefully get back into the swing of blogging and you there should be some good posts about what we replace the Audi with and maybe a road test of the new Fiat Panda 100bhp.

Monday October 16th 2006

Today was a pretty full day on the car front, it started with me taking the Land Rover to college which was nice I do like it sooo much more than the Audi. I saw today an Aston Martin V8 vantage on Far Gosford street today in Cov, clearly the owner is mad because no one in there right mind would park an expensive car in Cov let alone on Far Gosford street (another reason why I take the Audi!). The Aston was also parked outside a music shop which I thought was funny because who wants music when you have an Aston Martin?

This though was nothing compared to later events! On the way to my house Luke had a spot of bother and unfortunately wrote of his vehicle. He is excellent despite rolling his car into a hedge, no injuries what so ever. And you'll be surprised to know it wasn't a speed related accident, just an unfortunate instinctive reaction.
These are the results...



These pictures were clearly taken before it exploded into a ball of flames and me and Luke saved the life of an old woman taking her grand children (whose lives we also saved) out for a walk! True storey!
I then engaged the low range on the 'drover and pulled luke's car out it was an awesome recovery my second so far! Dad then drove it back to our house (just round the corner), it was a little bit worse for wear and the max seed was about 25mph.
When Dad turned up to help me do the recovery and with him brought his new purchase, a shagged 1972 Alfa Romeo GT 1600 junior (for parts and panels for the 2.0 GTV). So the Beaumont household managed to acquire 2 unroadworthy cars in one day, bonus!
Unfortunately I missed Fifth Gear all but Tif in the Gallardo, not that fussed really it was probably the only good bit.

Top Gear Withdrawal Symptoms

In the depressing months between the Top Gear series Fifth Gear used to keep me happy enough. Not now though, the new layout in some red-neck, greasy spoon cafe (no that's not mean to be café) doesn't help the program and they have hired a new presenter who is the most pointless man ever. His response to Vicky Butler-Henderson's (who was regaining a bit of dignity after her terriblee Top Gear days, until now) question about whether he thought the new Bentley Azure was too much of a footballers car couldn't have been worse in my mind. He went on about how he loved anything that footballers did/wore/owned, this kind of attitude is what has tipped GQ over the edge (now a shite magazine for people who want people to think they are rich), his freedom of speech rights should be taken away, better still his voice box with a blunt implement. Tif is the only good thing about that program, his escapadess in the Williams Renault Clio and new Clio 197 were fantastically entertaining but this still isn't enough to redeem it. As for the other presenters Tom Ford should stick to writing in Top Gear so we don't have to look at him and I couldn't bear to watch all of it so i don't know if Jason Plato is still on it, I hope not after he was so arrogant in the last series.
So what do you do to satisfy your car viewing needs. Get on youtube! Rarely have I been as excited as I was when I found out there were this many car videos on one website. There are videos for any car you can think, of I even found MGB videos, who would want to film one of them? Its even got Tif in the Clios from Monday night on there, this one is great if you can stand the wanker presenter appearing before and after the main bit. Most of the best bits from Top Gear are on there, all of the challenges and tours, so to get your Hammond fix get on those ones (i know watching a video of him won't make him get better more quickly but it sure does make you feel better.)
So you don't have to go trailing through the whole of you tube I have comprised a top 5 best car videos on youtube(in no real order.)

1.

Part of The Hire series BMW commissioned it has fantastic driving, directing and just enough humour to almost make you like Madonna.

2.

Rene Arnoux and Gilles Villeneuve proving that Formula 1 was never as boring as it is now.

3.

Walter Rohl in an Audi Quattro S1 making toe-heeling and left-foot-braking look unbelievably easy.

4.

There are many more top gear videos so I had to chose one, so one with a Lotus and an Apache seemed to make sense.

5.

The Japanese, you gotta love 'em!

P.S.
Saw this on my day off Mercedes 600 (not quite a Pullman though.)

How much do you want one of them!

Das Wälzen Darüber

Today was the first day my money scheme has come into action, I drove the Audi to college. I will now be doing this every day for the next 9 months because it does 50mpg (46 when I'm driving) where as the Land Rover does 25mpg (20 when im driving).

I love the chance to drive new and different cars (the reason why I went on those test drives, I will blog the next one for you) and this was no exception. I love the hard and bumpy ride you get in the Defender so a wallowing, rolling ride you imagine would be my worst nightmare, well you'd be right and the Audi did live up to its reputation. It also rattles more than the Land Rover does, which I thought was impossible and the fan on the climate control has broken.
So it made me feel sea sick, it was noisy and bloody hot. Other than that though I quite enjoyed it. It wasn't the hideous interior that matches the Ming blue exterior and it definatly wasn't the complete lack of front end grip (wheel spin in your Audi A4 avant is massively embarrassing) I just don't know what it was but i can't wait to use it everyday. The key was pretty fun!
P.S.
Saw this in Brinklow today, check the tyres!

Riva Aquarama

Saw this shit when in Falmouth.

Yes Falmouth not Monaco like where you'd expect to see a Riva Aquarama though I think the weather gives it away a bit.

New Entry

My new entry is second from the bottom, I wrote it on holiday but was waiting for some pictures so never posted it that's why its down there but now its up.

INTERSECTION

New Intersection..

...buy it now enrich your life!

Today was a good day!

On my way back from dropping my little brother at Broughton Astley skate park I was accosted by this.

At first I thought it might be a kit car or something of that kind of breed so ignored it. I then heard the noise it was making. It was loud and rough not in cheap kit car way but in a 60's race car way. This was something good! The drivers had pulled over and where reading a map so I got all excited when I realized there must be a road rally on. Despite my excitement I continued home only to go past a Ferrari Dino and a Porsche 911. I then decided home was no where near as exciting as this and followed where I thought they were coming form only to go past an Alfa Romeo GTA and from the quick glimpse I got a racing Alfa very similar to one I believe I saw at GoodWood. All of these cars were extremely tidy and the rarity of some made me think that this was a pretty high class event (thought it would be in octane but when I got home and checked, nothing!). So I continued passing classic cars every 2 minutes with drivers clad in race wear and co drivers clutching maps it was excellent.


I got a bit bored so I pulled over, turned round and waited for one to come past so that I could follow it. To my luck it was a Aston martin DB5. I pulled out and followed him.


I think he got a bit pissed off with me and tried to loose me but because I new the roads I stuck to him like glue, the land rover was rolling and squealing round every corner to keep up. Unfortunately the Aston took a wrong turn and had to turn around. I couldn't turn round quick enough to find him again.
I enjoyed then driving round the county following other classic cars (lots of early 911's it was good!) and loosing them because of peoples incompetence and not being aggressive enough at junctions. I had to go home because I was running low on diesel(not so economical when trying to keep up with sports cars even ones of the 60's) but still had a thoroughly good time.
If anyone does know what was going on and where they ended up please do tell me.
Email: broccoli_05@hotmail.co.uk

Roof Rack Laws

Before me and the elite embarked on our trip to Falmouth we (dad) had to buy a roof rack to fit all of our luggage on and still have space for passengers. He did a good job and bought a flipping good 'un which looks bad ass!

But if you don't own a Defender or a Land Rover (in the original sense of the term) what do you do for more space. You may be thinking "well I could just buy a roof rack like you." Well you can't. Most cars and roof racks just don't go. Roof boxes don't count you wouldn't really have one by choice but may do because.... OK I'm not qualified to answer that (if you do find a reason why buy Thule's Ranger, it looks like a bag style so you don't look too sad). Roof racks can be acceptable on some 4x4s, most modern ones no. Roof racks on small hatchbacks make you look like a failed handy man. They can look good on some classic cars especially if they have a bit of a rally look but the Mazda MX5 has ruined (like many other things, including my life) the little boot racks for convertibles. Obviously if you actually need a roof rack and use it, no matter what vehicle you have, it is reasonably acceptable.
But there is hope if you own any of these cars you can have a roof rack to your hearts content and I actively encourage you to get one.
Alfa Romeo 159, GT and Brera
Audi A4, RS4, A6, All-road, RS6 and TT
BMW 3 series, 5 series and Z4 (M) coupe
Jaguar X-type
Lexus IS
Porsche 911 and Cayman
Saab 9-3 and 9-5
Volvo S40, V50, S60 and V70
Now these cars have to be the newest models or maybe previous one (previous 2 in RS4's case) some cars on the list you shouldn't have at all unless you have a roof rack on it, BMW's and Porsches. If you have an estate/sportwagon/avant/touring/v then you are going to have to admit that your roof rack wont look quite as good and different because more people will have them. Also once you have fitted your roof rack or roof bars adding a ski holder doubles whatever credibility you may have just achieved. Its hard to determine what it is that makes them look good on these cars, it makes them look more like you might go touring round the alps even without the ski bits, they look more purposeful. Even if you never use your roof rack and it just adds 5 or even 10mpg or more on your fuel consumption keep it on*,it probably is no more than your next doors 4X4's economy especially if they've not taken my advice and got a roof rack.
So get down to your local dealer and ask for the accessories catalogue but remember limit your self to the roof rack, black plastic add ons aren't always cool.
*I am taking mine off because it is impractical to make the height of one of the tallest standard cars any higher, I'm a student and cant afford to run a Land Rover let alone one with a roof rack and I'd have to slow down too because it doesn't corner as well as it did.
P.S. I'm very sorry for the lack of pictures to support my point but I've not seen one of the cars listed with roof bars on let alone ski holders. I'm still on the look out though.

Tour de France

The first installment of what will be the most influential motoring publication of this century... ...pah!

After taking loads of pictures of cars in France I have decided to make a bit of a collection of photos that show my diverse tastes of cars.

Obviously these cars are mostly French but don't expect to see any bloody Citroen 2cv's.

The grand tourer! There isn't a more appropriate vehicle and especially if you want to do Monaco!





White cars are good! Then we hit Monaco!
Strange Delta?
recognize this? Well you should*.

*Its the Turin cathedral from The Italian Job, durrr!